i failed at ATV

Right now i'm frustrated because i failed to maneuver the ATV.It's not that i didn't have the energy or the drive to do it, God i hate to admit this; i denied that i have some wrist problem or what would a doctor once said to me, early athritis.

But ATV defeat my denial of my having this 'special'setback :(

I was okay when we drove to the waterfall. it's about 45mins to 1hour drive. although i started to feel the pain of using my right hand to press the fuel and grip the back brake, i still managed to operate the ATV. My wrist was tested quite to the limit when we had to use the brake to drove down the slippery trail. I still forced myself to bear it.

When we were at the waterfall, i was quite worried if i were unable to drive the ATV back to the centre. The wayback trail is the same as we drove earlier. Somehow, we used all the strength we had, but still we were determined to drive it to the finish line.

I was not the kind of person to give up easily especially in sports-related. I had it all, but on the way back, my wrist getting sore and sore. The guide noticed it, and asked me whether i could proceed. I was still in denial, instead of saying 'yes', i said 'i dont know'. So the guide still let me and i still operated the ATV myself. The brake was getting harder to grip.

At one point, the guide asked again, i asked him back "jauh lagi ke?" because i really wanted to make to the finish line. he said "jauh" .

It was my breaking point. I knew if i kept insisting on continuing to drive the ATV, i would not just injure my wrist, but i might fall into the gaung or cause more injury. And so the guide controlled the ATV and i just be the 'passenger'. I was not that happy. i didnt get to control the ATV to the centre.

There was this quite funny thing happened. My ATV was in the stop mode on a quite down the hill position. The guide stood beside me to see if i was okay. So my both hands were gripping the brakes from moving down the slope. I swore i had gripped hard on both brakes but the ATV very slowly moved :p inch by inch haha. That was when he decided to be my driver.

Now, i do understand the feeling of a football player not being able to play on the field, because of his leg injury. As much as he wants to play, he knows he would injure himself more and might cause him not to be able to play anymore.

As much as my mind, my heart and my strength want it, my athritis would not allow it. If my right wrist is as strong as my left wrist, i would have made it to the finish line. Exhaustion won't stop me from making it to the finish line. Athritis is. Bencinya..

I would want to do it again just to make it to the finish line. This time, i think i would wear glove. I got the feeling that gloves would help lessen the sore. I would grip more.

p/s i use to use kain buruk to open a tight bottle. I may not be able to open a mineral water by my bear hand, but when i use kain ke ape ke, i could easily open it. i don't know how the mechanism help me. but it helps.