i failed at ATV

Right now i'm frustrated because i failed to maneuver the ATV.It's not that i didn't have the energy or the drive to do it, God i hate to admit this; i denied that i have some wrist problem or what would a doctor once said to me, early athritis.

But ATV defeat my denial of my having this 'special'setback :(

I was okay when we drove to the waterfall. it's about 45mins to 1hour drive. although i started to feel the pain of using my right hand to press the fuel and grip the back brake, i still managed to operate the ATV. My wrist was tested quite to the limit when we had to use the brake to drove down the slippery trail. I still forced myself to bear it.

When we were at the waterfall, i was quite worried if i were unable to drive the ATV back to the centre. The wayback trail is the same as we drove earlier. Somehow, we used all the strength we had, but still we were determined to drive it to the finish line.

I was not the kind of person to give up easily especially in sports-related. I had it all, but on the way back, my wrist getting sore and sore. The guide noticed it, and asked me whether i could proceed. I was still in denial, instead of saying 'yes', i said 'i dont know'. So the guide still let me and i still operated the ATV myself. The brake was getting harder to grip.

At one point, the guide asked again, i asked him back "jauh lagi ke?" because i really wanted to make to the finish line. he said "jauh" .

It was my breaking point. I knew if i kept insisting on continuing to drive the ATV, i would not just injure my wrist, but i might fall into the gaung or cause more injury. And so the guide controlled the ATV and i just be the 'passenger'. I was not that happy. i didnt get to control the ATV to the centre.

There was this quite funny thing happened. My ATV was in the stop mode on a quite down the hill position. The guide stood beside me to see if i was okay. So my both hands were gripping the brakes from moving down the slope. I swore i had gripped hard on both brakes but the ATV very slowly moved :p inch by inch haha. That was when he decided to be my driver.

Now, i do understand the feeling of a football player not being able to play on the field, because of his leg injury. As much as he wants to play, he knows he would injure himself more and might cause him not to be able to play anymore.

As much as my mind, my heart and my strength want it, my athritis would not allow it. If my right wrist is as strong as my left wrist, i would have made it to the finish line. Exhaustion won't stop me from making it to the finish line. Athritis is. Bencinya..

I would want to do it again just to make it to the finish line. This time, i think i would wear glove. I got the feeling that gloves would help lessen the sore. I would grip more.

p/s i use to use kain buruk to open a tight bottle. I may not be able to open a mineral water by my bear hand, but when i use kain ke ape ke, i could easily open it. i don't know how the mechanism help me. but it helps.

Is there any good people around here?

"There is nothing impossible in this world."

I hear it once in a while. It never ceases. If it’s true, can anyone or company sponsor my traveling around the world for free and not asking for any return? :)

There are always good people around the world. I believe there is a good sole that wants to pay one's dream come true.

Oprah O Oprah, would you cover my holiday?

p/s please let me live in my fantasy

Miss Nelina Special Rumour

“I heard you were engaged”
a friend shouts in surprise
and caught Miss Nelina
render speechless and hilarious laugh

a year a past
come another surprise
“is she getting married?”
A friend of a friend had asked
And the friend narrates to nelina
this time a bigger jovial ha-ha

Become quite a rumour
To some special gossiper

Would it be “she pregnant?”
Nelina waits till next year
To see the rumour appear
And have another giggle
The series of ridicule tale

TAQWACORES

I was attracted to the word itself…taqwa + hardcore(I assume) = taqwacores (my thinking of how the word came about hehe) That should be good.

I read about taqwacores related article and then I decided to read the book but turn out I could only get the excerpt of the book online which I found it interesting and would actually hook me til the end if I got my hand on the full version.

As much as I am impressed on the writer’s fantasy, I feel ‘takut’ too. If only the writer or characters are not muslim, It would be ok…in fact it might seems cool. I may laugh but then instantly I would like ‘takutnye’ and the feeling of ‘meremang’ come next. The book is like joking around with the religion but then the happenings in the book are now reality. How the writer have the ‘courage’ to make fun with Islam and how I wish he could show his ‘courage’ in other form by standing up for Islam. We in Malaysia, we don’t make fun of our religion no matter what religion; I guess it is not our culture. Or am I not aware of this changing? A much as people break the religion’s law, they won’t innovate it to be ‘better’.

What I meant by innovate..example from the book , when someone azan, the writer instill his fantasy by playing the electric guitar tuning to azan rhythm. It sounds cool but at the same time scary. Or a hijab girl living with all boys in a house. When I say hijab, they could not even see her eyes for she covers all her entire self. Macam orang arab.Yet she is otak brutal. Another one, is actually became history of muslim world when the writer’s character Rabeya lead the prayers whom her ma’mum are all guys.

This one female reader read the book and got inspired to the idea of leading a prayer and then in 2005 I think, the reader’s friend or someone she knew named amina wadud lead a prayer.

These innovations look good in human sense but not religion sense. The settings are in cool relaxing environment, that’s why you will feel cool too. That’s why you will ask, why not? (sesaat je la, lepas tu rasa mana boleh :p) the writer makes the innovations feel normal and acceptable. I can understand why readers agree.


From this book, the readers start the punk muslim or punk islam idealism. The readers somehow get the calling even though I would believe the writer would not imagine to be this far. Now they have taqwacores music.

Again, if these happenings are not in Islam setting, that would be cool. If only you can change the law by your ruling, then any religion would be so confusing. The secular should curve around religion, not religion to curl around secular right? That’s how life should be lead in normal circumstances.

Here I am giving opinions. I am not pious. I am average (or I presume).

kembali berswimming dan elizabeth gilbert

after 1 year of retiring....akhirnya aku kembali berswimming :) pancit seh...mcm dah tak reti berenang lak...tercungap2 :p

- eat pray love -

jika itu dikatakan depression, takut untuk aku rasa seperti itu...hope it never happens...pelik kan bila semua bende dia ada, dia tetap rasa kosong, rasa depress..bila dia jumpa kebahagiaan yg dia cari...dia sebenarnya aku rasa mencari cinta....agaknya dia tak lah cinta mana kat first husband kot. end up, pencarian dia selesai bila dia jumpa mr brazil.

tertarik aku bila dia cari tuhan, aku pikir...end up manusia akan tetap cari tuhan bila jalan sudah buntu. dia ada, tinggal kadang2 kita yg tak pegi jumpa dia. aku yg tak pegi jumpa dia.

aku rasa macam boleh paham je perasaan dia yg dlm depression tu...tapi travel life dia memang untuk dia dan dia sahaja. kalau orang lain yg travel sebijik macam dia buat, blum tentu sama hasilnye.. tapi kalau aku, aku nak lalui 'eat' process dia. elizabeth mempunyai 'eat' life yang menarik :)

aku usha gak ketut liyer tu...haha...pawang yg menarik. tapi aku orang asia, rasanya penah jumpa lebih hebat dari dia...bila orang itu boleh 'melihat' basically semua?