Smack Down

Not to brag or anything, i always good in whatever i do...let say..never been the last place unexpectedly. Therefore i dont know the feeling of being the last.In any event; singing, dancing, running, studying, sports etc. i always perform, for solo or in a group, always being satisfied by at least the average.

But today, when i went for dance class, jazz mania to be exact..i failed totally :(
i mean i luuuvvvv dancing. as much as i am slow in catching up the steps, i never the slowest and in the end i got it.

But this evening i was the loser. this is my personal ranking.i could feel it. it was so obvious the other 5 students could catch up with just 2 demonstrations of each step by the instructor.i failed pathetically.

i admit i am not a pro but like i said 'average' is the lowest in my benchmarking. while i'm typing this, i still feel double stated :( (hope to boost up again my spirit after blogging)

The feeling is so sedih gillerrr! is this how anyone felt in class or competition when he/she is at the last place when he/she knows he/she can do it? no offense, is this how orang yang last dalam class rasa? being crushed?? well, i felt it.

truth to be told, i dont like it :(
i dont like it when the things i like to do, yet i fail to do it successfully.

if bende tu memang tak reti langsung, is expected la. for the things i dunno from zero like swimming, i still can do it when the instructor shows you the style repeatedly (when i say repeatedly...it means more than 3 times..)
That i turn to be a good swimmer.

ada orang sekali tunjuk da ble ingat n hafal the step, i am jenis 10 kali tunjuk baru ble ingat. but the hasil of the perfect step will be the same whether you are fast or slow learner.

i guess macam mengira or mengeja, slow or fast, end up that person can kira 1,2,3 and eja dengan a,b,c at the end of the class.

serius boleh rasa cikgu tu taknak ajar orang yg tak tau basic or slow. i did go for other dancing class and that cikgu will ajar you till you catch up the step, but tonight instructor, she can only teach the pros. i mean she is pro but a pro who cannot teach beginners.

no offense to the instructor, i think i am not her perfect student and she is not my perfect teacher. so i guess, to be positive, i have to find the perfect teacher to teach me dancing perfectly :) (hhmm....boost up balik ke semangat aku? :p)

seeing other people struggling to catch the step is what i used to see, i sympathize for them but never underestimate them, in fact you feel like you want to help them.

i thought i really knew the feeling of people that cannot catch up until i was in their shoes yesterday, it was far from what i imagined.
That moment, i was the one who struggled, people watching me sympathizing. well now i know the looks on people faces, as much as they have sympathy towards us, they will never know the tearing feeling until they feel themselves.

stress seh.. semua org tengok and ko buat tah ape2. giler tak boleh cope and terasa ke'loser'an nye...macam hati di smack down.

(rasa macam tak habis je aku bermadah :D ok lah...i stop here! )