I live in my atok's house for so many years now..ever seen my house burnt down, atok house is a home for my family. although we don't have the say on furniture since it all have been there like forever, not that it occurs to us to rearrange the furniture anyway, besides, we always like atok to have her own idea of rearangging the furniture and we the cucu would be her hands to carry the shelves, the sofa around ;p she had a high taste of interior design, that i must say.
when she passed away, we still maintain our big family together, the house is the rumah pusaka. my mom's sibling maintain it very well and very united although some hiccups along the way, they manage it. my mom's brothers and sisters, i can say they have a good bonding and the sisters especially have the high tolerance in order to keep the cool happening family together.
one day, we have to face the reality that nobody is willing to take care of the house as the sole owner of the house. it is a high maintenance house. to be the caretaker of the house needs money to just maintain it. an old big house is not easy to maintain. everything gets old. the only way is to let go and buy a new smaller house for the family. uncles and aunts are getting older, the reality is what happen if all of them are no longer here and the cucu gonna have to take care of the house..it's like one day, we have to let go. to avoid more complicated in the future, cucu's future, they need to let go of the house.
i always afraid of this decision would eventually come. i knew that this day would come. i just doa it to be delayed. i just doa if one of the family would volunteer to be the caretaker. i even want to collect money from the members of the family up to cucu-cucu to donate, to repaint the house. i am sure to donate since i live in the house too but when i was about to launch the Project Jalan Majidi, my mom said, there is a buyer.
the day had come. i am sad. when the news came, i was in a state of accepting the fact. i am a bit depressed because i found myself crying every now and then. sensitip nye aku rupanya. in fact as i am writing this, tears somehow rolling down my cheeks...selsema dah...
so now it is April...the day is nearing...i dont think i can set my foot in the compound anymore...since mama said that cannot go back to Majidi House anymore..so i guess the key of the house is going to be passed to a new landlord.
i hope that he would roboh the house and build a new house on the land so that i dont imagine him using our bedroom or our living room or any part of the house for that matter.
the reason i am writing this, is a way of espressing myself, to let go of the sadness since i dont have the strength to tell my close friends, sbb nanti nangis...cerita in general pun dah sebak2 to my 2 friends in separate occassion. even my close Muar friend that i first ever told anyone about it is sad about the news. huhu...
that house is not just a house. it is a home to me, to my family, to my aunts and uncles..i am sure everybody has the soft spot in the heart about the house. i am very sure about myself. tahap gaban agaknye sbb aku jenis sayang buang2 barang, so maybe nak 'buang'rumah macam lagi lah kan...
that is the last heirloom in our family yg betul2 valuable...from our atok. although we buy a new house for family gathering, i dont think it would be the same.. almost i guess, but never be the same.
Rumah Jalan Majidi has all the memories...from my grandparents, my mom and her siblings, my siblings, my cousins and the lucky cicit who got the taste of the house.
any house can just be a house but it is hard to find a home.
